Teal Quest

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You're right next to the stairs out of the dungeon. Your current location: XXXXX X@(if:$12x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$13x is 1)[.](else:)[?]X X(if:$21x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$22x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$23x is 1)[.](else:)[?]X X(if:$31x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$32x is 1)[.](else:)[?]/X XXXXX X:Wall /:The Dingus Staff .:Explored room ?:Unknown! Where do you go? [[right|1-2]] [[down|2-1]] ] ]

You have entered the DUNGEON OF THE DINGUS STAFF to find the DINGUS STAFF. (set: $12x to 0) (set: $13x to 0) (set: $21x to 0) (set: $22x to 0) (set: $23x to 0) (set: $31x to 0) (set: $32x to 0) (set: $pervert to 0) [[ENTER|1-1]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ Your current location: XXXXX X.@(if:$13x is 1)[.](else:)[?]X X(if:$21x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$22x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$23x is 1)[.](else:)[?]X X(if:$31x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$32x is 1)[.](else:)[?]/X XXXXX (unless: $12x is 1)[ (if: $12x is 0)[As you enter the room, all exits close.] (set: $12x to 1) This room contains an electronic thing. A screen on it displays the phrase "Beep Beep ___" There are three buttons on the machine. [[tomato]] [[water]] [[lettuce]] ](else:)[ This is the room where you solved the devious "Beep Beep Lettuce" puzzle. [[left|1-1]] [[right|1-3]] [[down|2-2]]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ Your current location: XXXXX X.(if:$12x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$13x is 1)[.](else:)[?]X X(if:$21x is 1)[.](else:)[?]@(if:$23x is 1)[.](else:)[?]X X(if:$31x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$32x is 1)[.](else:)[?]/X XXXXX (unless: $22x is 1)[ (set: $22x to 1) This room contains a roulette table. For some reason all of the black spaces have skulls instead of numbers for some reason. The doors to the areas you haven't already been are blocked. [[!roulette]]? (if: $12x is 1)[[[up|1-2]]] (if: $32x is 1)[[[down|3-2]]] (if: $23x is 1)[[[right|2-3]]] (if: $21x is 1)[[[left|2-1]]] ](else:)[ You're still not entirely sure what was up with the skulls, but perhaps some things are better left unknown. [[[up|1-2]]] [[[down|3-2]]] [[[right|2-3]]] [[[left|2-1]]] ] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ Pervert. (set: $pervert to 1) [[I guess it was your choice|3-1]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ Nothing happens.(set: $12x to 2) [[try again|1-2]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You did it! You solved the puzzle! [[next|1-2]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ Your current location: XXXXX X.(if:$12x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$13x is 1)[.](else:)[?]X X(if:$21x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$22x is 1)[.](else:)[?]@X X(if:$31x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$32x is 1)[.](else:)[?]/X XXXXX (if: $23x is 0)[ (set: $23x to 1)(set:$riddles to 1) Within this room is a SQUIZZARD! Her hair tentacles perk up as you enter. She does a few gestures and you're surrounded by a forcefield. (unless: $pervert is 1)["If you wish to claim the Dingus Staff, then answer me these riddles three!" [[riddle 1]]](else:)["If you wish to claim-Wait, is that Barely Legal Octogirls? Look, I'm supposed to give you three riddles before letting you pass, but it's kind of boring in this room, and.. Let's say that if you give me the magazines I can maybe cut it down to two. So? [[sure|seduction]] [[no I'm keeping my Marinas|greed]]] ](else:)[The Squizzard is in the room. (unless: $pervert is 2)[She says hi.](else:)[She thanks you again for the magazines.] [[up|1-3]] [[left|2-2]] [[down|3-3]] ] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You found the Dingus Staff! A winner is you. (unless: $pervert is 0)[Pervert. ] [[play again?|TEAL QUEST]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ (if:(random:1,2) is 1)[The wheel lands on the red (random:1,69). The doors open as the table spontaneously combusts and becomes inoperational.(set: $13x to 1) [[next|2-2]] ](else:)[The wheel lands on a black skull. The ceiling collapses and you die. [[restart?|TEAL QUEST]]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ Your current location: XXXXX X.(if:$12x is 1)[.](else:)[?]@X X(if:$21x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$22x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$23x is 1)[.](else:)[?]X X(if:$31x is 1)[.](else:)[?](if:$32x is 1)[.](else:)[?]/X XXXXX (if: $13x is 0)[ (set: $13x to 1)] This room is filled with [[bees]]. [[left|1-2]] [[down|2-3]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You breathe in. The Glubex enters your windpipe through your mouth and eats your lungs. RIP [[try again?|TEAL QUEST]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You skewer the beast(?) on your mighty pincer. The Glubex is dead. [[next|2-1]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You begin explaining to the Glubex how those cloud-looking trails behind airplanes contain mind-control chemicals. The Glubex doesn't really seem to care. It proceeds to tear off and eat your skin. RIP [[try again?|TEAL QUEST]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ "Riddle $riddles!" (set: $riddles to $riddles + 1) "Which of the following is NOT a cantrip in D&D 5E?" [[Light|wrong]] [[Jump|right1]] [[Shilelagh|wrong]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ "Riddle $riddles!" (set: $riddles to $riddles + 1) "Which of the following is a book in the Twilight Saga?" [[Blood Moon|wrong]] [[Eldritch Moon|wrong]] [[New Moon|right2]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ "Riddle $riddles!" (set: $riddles to $riddles + 1) "Solve the following math problem: 3x+3=x^3+1" (There is exactly one real solution to this problem.) [[0|wrong]] [[1|wrong]] [[2|right3]] [[3|wrong]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You hand over the magazines.(set: $pervert to 2) "Thanks!" [[riddle time|riddle 2]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ "Wrong!" The Squizzard crushes you to death by shrinking the force field. RIP [[try again?|TEAL QUEST]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ "You got all of them right! Good job!" The force field disappears. [[next|2-3]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ "Correct! Next question." [[next|riddle 2]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ "Correct! Next up is the final question. I guess maybe they weren't riddles after all." [[next|Riddle 3]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ "Fine, then. Answer me these riddles three!" [[riddle 1]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ In defiance of science they continue to fly, With bare non-compliance til the day they die. In concert, a storm of yellow and black [[I'm sick of these terrible rhymes go back]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ Fine. [[next|1-3]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You block the golem's attack. What now? [[Aerate]] [[Areate|misspell]] [[Aereate|misspell]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You try to input a battle command but make a stupid spelling error. You freeze in shame, and the golem takes the oppurtunity to smash your face in. RIP [[try again?|TEAL QUEST]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You attack the golem with a refreshing blast of air. It's knocked over! You proceed to: [[Bar]] [[Stick]] [[Strip]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You stab the golem a few times, recalling your pressure point training. "Omae wa mou shindeiru." After a second or two of standing perfectly still, the golem falls apart into individual bricks. [[next|3-2]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You begin to try and hold the golem in place with some spreaders you happen to have with you. The golem breaks them easily, then does the same to your ribcage. RIP [[try again?|TEAL QUEST]] ]]

(background:"#009966")[ (font:"Monospace")[ You decide to try seducing the golem. (if: $pervert is 1 or $pervert is 2)[Pervert.] You're halfway through taking off your shirt when the golem crushes your head. RIP [[go back?|TEAL QUEST]] ]]